“Debris Spill – Metrpolitan Ave – Heavy Delays.” “Fuck me,” I think to myself as traffic comes to a dead stop on the BQE. Debris spill my ass. There’s some part a building that collapsed onto Meeker Avenue. With some quick thinking I’m able to avoid most of this delay and park my car under the bridge. Off to the L train and some pre-gaming before I reach my destination: The Champagne Riot at Dominion Theatre & Lounge located on Lafayette Street. I’m quite the fan of good burlesque (whether classy or trashy) and this event helped get my Friday the 13th into full swing.

Just shove it in!

It’s ‘nipply’ cold nights like this that keep most of the drag queens, club kids, and usual hosts home so why not pop into a little hetero event? I normally support heterosexuality (in small doses) so the performers, hosts, and attendees of Champagne Riot were nothing short of sweethearts. Dominion itself is a nicely tucked away little gem that gives its patrons a vintage invite with a nicely stocked bar, cute colorful lighting, and significantly sized theater. Riot’s coordinators have done one hell of a job getting performers and musicians with legitimate talent. Our MC for the evening, Dandy Wellington, had everyone in high spirits as he ushered in some of the loveliest ladies to the stage.

"Werking it!"

One of my favorite moments of the night had Heather Holiday performing her sword swallowing act in which she began with one sword and bumped it up to three (Trying to compete with me, huh?). No, this is not some hidden corner of The Eagle, get your mind out of the gutter. Moving on through the night we were treated to Jezebel Express, Harvest Moon, Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey, Lee Chappell, and Gin Minsky all doing a superb job of taking us back to a bygone era when “gay” actually meant “happy.” Another great point with Champagne Riot is that it’s pretty much wrapped up around 1am giving you still three more hours to go ransack the city, all culminating in you stuffing your drunk face with five dollar street meat. Now, get those spats on, fancy lady, and stroll on over to their next event held on February 10th. Don’t worry. I already told you there’s still enough time to go cruising afterwards.

Unassuming straight people.

Even John Waters showed up.

*All Photos courtesy Gabi Porter & MetroMix NY