Daniel Nardicio (r.) poses with one his many hotties in Fire Island at the Ice Palace in this photo which ran in Next Magazine the week of July 3, 2012 .
Guest Editorial by Daniel Nardicio
Let’s face it- men are visual. We work off visual clues and aspire to bed creatures with these visual clues. But most of us aren’t blessed genetically- in fact the opposite.
Many people have commented on why I am surrounded by so many good looking guys. Yes some of them are on my staff, (I JUST realized how sexual that sounds!) but I attract mos of theml because I’ve mastered the art of bagging hot guys.
I could make millions off these tips, but I’ve decided to give them FREE to you, my dear readers.
Here are 10 tips on how an average guy can get a hot guy:
- Never tell them how good looking they are. It’s boring, they probably already know, and you’d never go up to a rich person and say: “You have so much money!!” Instead be charming, funny and approach them as if you are on their level.
- If they used to be fat, glance occasionally at their mid section disapprovingly but NEVER say anything. (This is only a move to make if they are starting to give you attitude… And these are virtual gold mines! I firmly believe that bagging an ex-fat guy is the holy grail, because they are so appreciative in bed!)
- Keep all your fair weather friends away from them. (This is especially true on Fire Island). Girlfriend are girlfriends, but put some drinks in them and they’ll throw you overboard faster than you can say “Angelina Jolie!”
- Pretend he’s smart. Even if he’s not, just pretend he is (it’s easier). Plus i’ve learned throughout the years that smart guys often think they’re dumb, and sadly, dumb guys think they are smart.
- Treat him like a prince in bed. ’nuff said.
- Listen to him (this is a general rule all around.)
- Act interested in anything he finds interesting.
- Don’t pay for anything! If you want a hooker, go to rentboy.com. If you start by buying drinks and paying for things, you will quickly become “that guy” (a.k.a the cash cow).
- Repeat after me: “hot guys are like buses… wait 5 minutes and another one will come along.” Don’t be desperate. If a guy gives you the brush off, move on. If he’s rude (which happens in the Pines), then try this line: “why not lower your standards? I did!” (Try to snap a pic of their face when you say this and send it to me!)
- If I’m heading into a shark tank (a room full of hot guys) I decide to, ummm, take matters into my own hands before I go. (In other words, don’t go there horny.) We’ve all made stupid decisions when revved up, and the best advice I can give you is: if you go into the shark tank with no agenda , you can work the room like a calm sexy self assured guy that you are.
Now take this invaluable advice you have been given and land your hot guy!
Daniel Nardicio iis an American radio personality, Nightlife promoter, entrepreneur, and creator of the social network Dlist.com, and has often been referred to by the media as the “Gay Howard Stern.” You may also recognize him as the former Playgirl scout or as the promoter at the Ice Palace (a.k.a the man who brought Liza Minelli to Fire Island). You can reach him and find out more about Daniel’s world on his website.
I never thought I would ever publish a Dear Abby column, but this one is more than interesting.
In this advice column, Dear Abby tells “Can’t Come Out in Texas” how to deal with “sexual harassment in a hostile work environment” in which a female co-worker has everyone pressuring him to “just go out with her and give her a chance.”
Dear Abby has some good advice for this gay man who seems to be as trapped in the closet as R. Kelly.
Dear Abby • I am a 29-year-old gay man. In my community, coming out at work isn’t an option. I really like my job and want to keep it. However, a female colleague is not only trying to convince me that the two of us would make a good pair, but she has gotten all of our co-workers involved. I’m constantly pressured by my supervisor to “just go out with her and give her a chance.”
I have already told everyone, including her, that I’m not interested in mixing my personal life with my professional one, and I want to come to work only to work. — Can’t Come Out in Texas
Dear Can’t Come Out • You have described a classic example of sexual harassment and a hostile work environment. Your co-workers and supervisor may consider themselves to be “Cupid’s helpers,” but their actions could be the basis for a lawsuit. That you are gay has nothing to do with it.
Document everything. Go to your supervisor’s boss if necessary and state plainly that you need help to put a stop to this. You do not have to explain why you’re not attracted to this desperate woman. If it isn’t stopped, talk with an attorney.
I do NOT recommend hiring anyone to pose as a girlfriend, or you may have to put her under long-term contract, which could be expensive in more ways than one.
You go Abby!
Throughout life, we always hear people in positions of authority use the phrase “do as I say, not as I do.” However, it wasn’t until later in life when I truly understood what that statement means. Now as an adult, I hope and pray that those with whom I interact can at least refrain from picking up any of my less than flattering qualities. As the story goes, “do as I say, not as I do.”