For nearly a year now, I have been sharing my stories with you, the GaySocialites, either at GaySocialites.com or queerplanet.net. These entries have been similar to writing in a journal for me. They have helped with my mental state of being and often helped me battle through the loneliness that comes along with suffering the consequences I face for the lifestyle I’ve chosen.
Author: Dylan Edwards
Although I write more about how fabulous my party boy lifestyle is than not, I do find myself struggling from time to time. One of my biggest downfalls is my what I call “The Race Against Time”.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t ever seem to catch up. It’s like: the electricity bill is due on the 20th, and the next thing you know I’m sitting in the dark. Payday is on the 15th, and I’m out of money on the 10th. My cousin is coming to town on the 2nd, and there I am getting fucked on the floor when she opens the door.
That’s how my family discovered my party-and-play lifestyle.
My transition back to my former life as a gay playboy hasn’t been as simple as the fictious story on April Fool’s Day made it seem. Since Anthony went to jail, I haven’t found God. Frankly, for all I know religion is a bunch of bullshit. I can’t imagine that there really is a higher power with the ability to wiggle his or her nose making things happen. It sounds a little too much like “I Dream of Jeanie” to be believable.
When you’ve been dealt the hand I carry around daily, its hard to believe that a higher power is looking over me. If they, then this higher power is one sick fucker! Then again, the higher power might be punishing me for my actions in the past.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sure I would trade my life for anything. However, I’m lucky I’m alive with my upbringing. I’m certainly shocked I’m not more revengeful.
I do get my fair share of revenge on people. I like to think I’m helping karma. No, my name is not Earl or anything; but I do like to pay a bitch back when given the chance.
It has been a wild ride over the past few months, and I have done a lot of things I thought I would never do. Many of which I am completely ashamed to say I did. So recently, I decided to do something I haven’t done since I was a young child. I went to church.