From the fashions and décor to over-the-top lines of top quality cheese, Mommie Dearest has held a special place in nearly every Nancy boy’s heart since its release in 1981 making queens from New York to San Francisco “mad at the dirt.” But, it isn’t the ridiculous acting or script that caught me by surprise when I gave this cult classic another go around.
Granted, I’m sure some of the things that Christina Crawford stated in her book (and depicted in the film) were true while others may or may not be blown completely out of proportion. Let’s break it down like this. You’re an orphan adopted by Hollywood royalty merely to improve her image with the press and her adoring fans. Mommie does indeed need this part, kids, so stop running around like a bunch of wild beasts.
At Christina’s birthday party she literally receives a mother fuck ton of toys and assorted other goodies. I’m sorry if you had to give away almost all of them but, in truth, no little girl needs that many Earthly goods. Besides, look at that bitchin’ bedroom you got. And to think you used to be like Annie… just not as vocally talented. And you have Joan to deal with instead of Carol Burnett.
Next, as the film progresses we see how little Christina becomes intent on pushing Joan’s buttons by refusing to eat her 4-star restaurant quality dinner, uses wire hangers on a dress worth hundreds of dollars (and even attempts to hide some), and idiotically imitates her mother not once but… twice. She is thus caught red-handed both times making Joanie flip out. Haven’t you learned your lesson to just stop “playing” mommie? Have her catch you doing a horrendously on point Bette Davis impression. I’m sure she would’ve left you something in the will, honey. Then again that is just my opinion.