I don’t quite understand what is going on with me lately, but I think I’m losing my mind! No not really. I think I’m just starting to understand things better and I pray that I’m heading in the right direction. I’ve always felt that in order to be a “real” person you have to analyze and reflect personally. I forgot to mention that you also have to grow because if you’re stagnant then the world will move past you. Nowadays though the world is moving so fast that its difficult trying to find the time to be true to yourself and to others. For the love of Chanel, Rihanna is now in a movie and it’s not a porn! That’s how crazy it is! What is this world coming to!
Do you ever look around and think ”WOW!!!” I do this all the time.. and when I say all the time I mean ALL THE FUCKING TIME ! Usually I look around and say to myself, “Wow, these people are ridiculous!” or “Wow what has the world come to?!” Now it seem that all I’m saying wow is that fact that I’ve realized I’m really not that happy with my life. With everyone dying left and right, I feel that it’s necessary to reflect and see if I’m proud of how I’m living and/or ways to better myself. I understand that as of recently I’ve become pretty lax with my composure in public and for that I apologize. Honestly, I’ve been a judgmental bitch who doesn’t have much room to judge anyone. It’s just really hard being a woman today. I’m just saying!
I can honestly say that I’m content with my love life albeit nothing serious has changed, but at least I’ve stayed true to my resolution…kinda. Well, I mean he lives in Europe and we’re just talking…:-) ! Ever since I’ve watched that damn movie Think Like a Man I’ve been on this whole new kick of just not tolerating a lot of the typical bullshit and games that I would’ve normally allowed to enter my life. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of bullshit in my life but I feel as if I’m handling it better, where I normally would’ve freaked out before. I’m giving credit to the movie because I’m a little afraid of admitting that I’m getting old! If you haven’t seen this movie, and especially if you’re single, watch it immediately and copy and paste it to your life. Seriously, I’m just saying!
I feel and fear that with each year passing I’m getting closer and closer to something I’m not absolutely sure of, and although I’m pretty sure about some things in my life, I’ve realized that I haven’t really made any real decisions that would get me to my ultimate goal. Possibly because I’m not sure what that goal truly is exactly, but I have a general goal that almost everyone has: to be loved and settled in every aspect of life. Will I ever reach it? I’m not sure. I do know though that I’m getting tired of just living for everything. Tired of just going with the flow–something I’m really good at, but has never gotten me far. It’s time to focus. I guess…I’ll just do it next year.