On Saturday May 26th, a homeless man was attacked by a naked man in Miami just off the Causeway’s ramp. The victim, 65 year old Ronald Poppo, had 75% of his face eaten away by 31 year old Rudy Eugene who authorities suspect was on a new designer drug called bath salts. The drug itself is said to cause its users to overheat thus causing them to strip nude and enter a psychosis state which drives them into mental irrationality. After getting statements from family and friends of Eugene, one might think he was a pretty stand up guy. Sure, he made a few mistakes here and there but who hasn’t. Well, then again… you haven’t gnawed someone’s fucking face off.
Immediately following the incident, the news went viral along with security camera footage from the nearby Miami Herald building which shows two pairs of legs moving about wildly. Police were called to the scene and the suspect had to be shot four times before falling down dead. Did we mention that the first shot only caused him to continue eating the guy’s face? Just thought we’d throw that disturbing detail at you, too.
Along with the video footage, a new Twitter account opened up purporting to be the Miami Zombie who, after finishing his meal off the Causeway, was in search of more victims. The gallows humor in all of this is the continued talk on social media sites of a “zombie apocalypse.”
While seemingly laughable at first, cue up another story from Hackensack, NJ this past Sunday. Police got a call from a concerned neighbor about a man named Wayne Carter who was acting wildly. Upon the arrival of police, the man threatened them with a knife only to begin slicing his own stomach open. He proceeded to then toss bits and pieces of his skin… and God damn organs at them.
Jet over to Maryland yesterday. Authorities are charging Alexander Kinyua, a 21 year old university student, with first degree murder after they found the dismembered body of 37 year old Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie who went missing. Kinyua later admitted he ate the heart and brain of his victim.
Sweet Jesus! You may be wondering to yourself. “Just what the fuck is going on here?” Zombie apocalypse? Mad cow disease? Is everyone running to this new drug called bath salts? Is there a sale at Barney’s? To me, I see it as media hype. Seriously. After Saturday’s fiasco in Miami and judging public reaction to such a story, why wouldn’t every media outlet jump on the bandwagon to find as many cannibal/zombie stories as possible? We are a nation of 300 million + citizens. A lot more disturbing events happen every day that go unreported. It’s just the “flavor of the week.” (Pun totally intended.) But, let’s say I’m wrong and this really is the end. Just keep your zombies out of New York, please. Then again, we were home to one of the sickest sons of bitches in serial killer/cannibal history in the early 20th Century: Mr. Albert Fish!